


Vapid Perceptions

by stover



Series: Old Habits Die Hard [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Dissociative Identity Disorder, Mental Health Issues, Non-Massacre AU, Reincarnation, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-07 04:37:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 6,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6785518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stover/pseuds/stover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At five years old, Uchiha Sasuke made an extraordinary discovery: he had lived this life, just once before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cognizance

**Author's Note:**

> "Vapid Perceptions" is an experimental drabble fic, written as a character study for Uchiha Sasuke. Translation: I have no idea what the fuck this is really about.

At five years old, Uchiha Sasuke made an extraordinary discovery: he had lived this life, just once before.

He had come to this decision not but seconds ago, when he realized he could have died from the stampede of horse-drawn carriages filled with Kusa nin pouring in through the market. His brother had yanked him by the back of his collar, and his mother caught a shower of kunai with her new bamboo cutting board.

And as he sat back on the street in a daze, watching a fight break out in broad daylight, he came to ponder on a notion quite odd.

He was not supposed to have survived that moment.

He was not supposed to have continued to exist in this timeline.

He was not supposed to have recollections of an alternate life.


	2. Dissociation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He felt like an intruder. This dinner was not for him; it was for the other him, the dead child whose body he shamelessly wore.

Dinner was a quiet affair. Conversations were sparse, mundane remarks shared only when the clinking of utensils had met its quota. The striking similarities between this moment before him and the memories living in his head were daunting.

His father and brother spoke little. In between their exchanges about the incident at the market were hints of deep concern, concealed behind carefully constructed neutral facades. Neither seemed to notice how their worry steeped and manifested in other ways -- his father chewing his rice and doragi longer and his brother reaching more frequently for the sweetened radishes.

His mother was the most open in her concern; she kept glancing at his untouched rice bowl and looking to her husband, as if waiting for her husband to say something to retrieve the usual cheer of their youngest son.

How easy it was to read his parents now. How easy it was to see the ways his father fought to contain his myriad of emotions from his family. How easy it was to see his mother’s uncertainty, to sense his brother’s wariness.

He felt like an intruder. This dinner was not for him; it was for the other him, the dead child whose body he shamelessly wore. This was not his seat at the table; this was not his family beside him. His own was leveled by destruction; his own had perished in a single act of desperation-- the ultimate sacrifice, paid all at his brother’s expense--

_His_ _ brother--!  _

He felt a rush of emotions as his thoughts screeched to a dead halt. _His brother! Alive! Alive and_ _ breathing , sitting right beside him--! _

He didn’t notice the tears until he saw three droplets on the dinner table.

His mother spoke first. “Your eyes,” she said, her words barely a whisper. 

Sasuke felt a familiar pulsing in his eyes. He felt the same fluttering pulse in his chest when his father spoke:

“Now, you are Uchiha.”

When Sasuke looked up, he almost broke. There it was, that look he’d ached his whole life to see for so long. His father, looking at him with unabashed pride. Except, he wasn’t looking at  _ him _ , he was looking at a child who wasn’t here.

Guilt was a hot flare threatening to redden his face. Sasuke looked down at his rice bowl, still full to the brim.

His mother reached over the table to pat his cheek. “Eat up,” his mother chided gently. “It’s been quite the day, hasn’t it?”

Sasuke clenched his hands underneath the table as he nodded his head. He ate nothing at the dinner table, too busy gritting his teeth to keep from screaming because _this wasn't right, this wasn't real, why can't his parents realize he wasn't their child??_

He didn’t deserve to have anything of this. 

He shouldn’t even _be_ here.

He tried hard not to enjoy the warmth of his brother’s hand, pulling his fingernails away from the skin of his palms before it bled and entwining their fingers together, moving silent and discreet underneath the table and away from his parents’ eyes.

Sasuke held Itachi’s hand until the end of the meal.


	3. Canards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We’re gonna need to keep an eye on that one.”

“Did you know? He got his Sharingan thinking about Konoha.”

“Oh? Right, right -- from that brawl in the market, wasn’t it? Hah. What a strange kid…”

“Don’t underestimate him -- we’re gonna need to keep an eye on that one.”

“Yeah, you don’t know who he’ll fight for when the time comes.”

“Hn. Bet the Hokage’s just  _ dying _ to have him in the Academy come spring.”

“He’ll probably be in ANBU, just like his brother.

“Wouldn't be surprised to see him in  _ that _ part of ANBU, either.”

“Well, he'd better not forget where he’s coming from.”

“With Fugaku breathing down his neck? Oh, please…”

Sasuke sat at the docks, swinging his feet over the water as he thought about what he’d overheard that morning in the Uchiha compound as he passed through by himself.

He dipped his toes into the water and laughed.


	4. Tidings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He’s going through his ‘teen angst’ phase.”

The days were short and dull. Sasuke spent his childhood in solemn silence. He didn’t think it right to enjoy a life that was not his.

He could feel his family’s lingering concern, quelled day by day only by the efforts of his extended family. 

“He’s in a hurry to grow up,” one of his aunts consoled.

“He’s thinking about the future,” one of the uncles assured.

“He’s realized what it means to be Uchiha,” one of the elders declared.

“He looks like he’s bored out of his fucking mind,” one of his cousins said to his brother one day, when he thought Sasuke wasn’t listening.

Or perhaps he knew, because when Sasuke’s head perked up at those words, Shisui was looking right at him.

The child inside of him scowled, turning away from his cousin to instead stare into his reflection in the river. 

“See that, Itachi? He’s going through his ‘teen angst’ phase. He’ll be fine.”

Sasuke pretended he didn’t hear.


	5. Circumspection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Your sons, my dear. Think about your sons. What will the village matter to them when we are a dying clan?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that I missed two weeks in a row. The school year is wrapping up, so things are getting a little hectic. If I don't update, it's because there are way too many things to get done before I can call it another year.

Sasuke caught tail ends of conversations from the clan. 

“....treat us like dogs…”

“...Hyuuga are revered, while we…”

“...need to act soon; we can’t allow them to…”

He listened from the garden, pretending to be absorbed in spreading mulch around his sprouting tomato plants. His mother, who had been singing freely, had grown silent.

“...Kusa nin from the market…”

“...if we hadn’t intervened, there would have…”

“...should be grateful we even…”

“...we must show what happens when…”

His mother halted in laying down a bed of pine needles. Sasuke noticed the way her eyes sharpened, her face turning to stone. It lasted only a second. She was smiling at him tenderly in the next.

“I don’t think we have enough pine needles,” she said. “Would you go to the market and get some more?”

“Okay.”

Sasuke watched his mother discard her gardening tools and wash her hands with the hose. She didn’t seem to notice he was still sitting amongst the tomato plants by the time she joined her husband in his study.

The conversation changed.

“...entrusted with Yondaime’s legacy…”

“...death awaits anyone foolish enough to…”

“...a dead promise, no good will come from…”

“...your sons, my dear; think about your sons…”

Sasuke held his breath.


	6. Discountenance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What would _you_ have done?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I wouldn't be able to update this week, but I found out five minutes ago that I had already written this little piece. So, hurray to me for thinking ahead!

Often, Sasuke sat at the docks by the river and stared down at his face.

It was the same as his own childhood face, though there was something in the dark gaze that made this child different. It was a heavy, severe look, one that fit more on  _ his  _ face, the one who had been blinded with lies and love by the same village.

What would  _ you _ have done? Sasuke asked the child in the water. Would you have thrown away your life for power? For vengeance? To search for the truth? Would you have suffered your whole life just for a minute’s taste of peace?

The child in the water asked him the same questions.


	7. Tenacity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Forgive me, Sasuke."_

“Sasuke,” his brother called to him one day.

Sasuke looked up from staring at the butterfly on his finger. It fluttered away. His brother uttered not a single word more, just looked at him with a deepening gaze that made him seem distant though he was but 3 steps away.

Sasuke approached him, carefully. “Yes, niisan?”

His brother binked once, twice. Then looked down at him, brows creased in what looked like confusion. Sasuke thought he was imagining things; his brother’s face turned as placid as a lake in half a second.

“Let me see your eyes.”

He didn’t clarify, but Sasuke had enough insight to know what his brother meant. He gathered chakra behind his eyes, let it run through the veins inside them. In a minute, he tensed; his senses were heightened, and he could see the wispy veins of chakra in his brother; the world vibrated all around him, humming quietly with visible energy that had suddenly thrust into his sight.

His brother’s hand, warm and gentle, came to take his chin. Sasuke let his brother tilt his head back. Dark eyes gazed searchingly into his Sharingan-- for what, Sasuke didn’t know.

His brother murmured something quietly, under his breath. If not for his Sharingan, Sasuke would not have caught them.

“Is that all?” he’d murmured, seemingly to himself.

Sasuke blinked, his Sharingan fading away, fighting the instinct that screamed at him to inch backwards, to get away, because _he knows, he’s found out, he can see right through him--_

Sasuke swallowed that away, adopted an utterly baffled look that isn’t at all fake, and asked in an equally puzzled voice: “What?”

Itachi dropped the hand at his chin. It ccame back. Sasuke watched his brother’s fingers coming at his eyes; closer, closer, closer--

They poked his forehead. Sasuke felt his head jerk back and he scowled.

“Forgive me, Sasuke,” his brother would say-- has always said, for as long as he could remember.

But the words never came.

Instead, his brother’s hand returned to him, gently stroking his hair. With the other hand, his brother pulled Sasuke into an embrace.

Sasuke stilled momentarily, his cheek pressed against the worn fabric of his brother’s shirt, warm from his body heat. Sasuke closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of wildflowers and spice and everything that was his brother.

“You’re so young,” he heard his brother say, and Sasuke was surprised at the heavy emotion tinging his words.

“Niisan?” Sasuke tried to look up, but his brother kept his cheek pressed against his heart. The hand stroking his hair had gone still, now a warm, heavy presence on the top of his head.

“Forgive me, Sasuke,” his brother said, finally pulling away. “It seems I’ve exhausted myself from yesterday’s mission.”

Sasuke listened quietly, but did not believe.

His brother’s eyes were wet, the smile on his face unnaturally large.

Sasuke stilled. Perhaps.... Perhaps, he too….?

His brother began to stroke his hair again.

Sasuke dared not breathe.


	8. Samsara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t mind him, Sasuke. You don’t have to be like a cicada.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is, I think, the longest chapter of VP.

Summer brought cicadas that wailed all day and night. Hollow shells laid scattered along the river, the brittle, winged creatures having pulled free at last from their larvae body wraps. They lay yellow and brown against green grass, crunching underfoot like dead leaves.

“Hey, I found one that wasn’t crushed! Look, you can even see all its little legs. Man, they look so alien-- Don't you think, Itachi?”

“Perhaps.” 

There was a distant smile on Itachi’s face, as there always was with Shisui around-- one Sasuke vaguely recognized but didn’t quite understand.

Or  _ like _ , for that matter. Why was his brother looking like that?

Sasuke didn’t quite like this man, who made his brother’s lips curve gently and bring a glittering shine to his eyes. Was this how his brother always looked at Shisui? Even from back then? Sasuke couldn’t remember.

Sasuke kicked his feet into the water, thinking over his words carefully and deciding to break the easy silence by being petulant. He was at that age, after all. “I thought playing with bugs was for kids.”

Sasuke was expecting a retort, a scathing remark. But he got a hearty laugh instead.

“You sound as bitter as your old man! And boy, do I mean _bitter_. Right, Itachi?”

Sasuke heard his brother chuckle fondly. Hearing that, Sasuke couldn’t keep the small smile from sprouting on his face. It was rare to see his brother enjoying himself as of late. 

“Hey, Sasuke,” Sasuke heard Shisui calling out. 

Sasuke searched the docks for the person his brother trusted the most. The man was nowhere to be seen.

“By that tree,” his brother helped, pointing a little ways behind them.

Sasuke turned, finding Shisui squatting in front of a tree. He was staring intently at the ground with a stern look on his face. “Come here for a sec,” he said, all of a sudden sounding quite solemn.

Sasuke sent the man a suspicious look. “Why?”

Shisui sighed. “Just c’mere, you little monster. You too, Itachi.”

Sasuke exchanged curious looks with his brother. Itachi merely shrugged his shoulders and rose from where he’d been sitting on the wooden berth to get closer to Shisui.

With a sigh, Sasuke walked over to the gnarled tree to entertain his cousin’s odd whims. He was inches away when Shisui suddenly shot an arm out as some kind of barricade to prevent him from moving any closer.

“Not too close, kid. Here, sit down for a sec. Look over here. Where my finger is.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but did as he was told.

There were two small, maggoty creatures in the soil by the roots. A closer look showed that one insect was crawling out of another.

_ Ew, _ was the first thought that flitted through his mind. Sasuke scrunched his face. “Is it--”

“It’s shedding,” Shisui clarified, softly. “I’ve only ever seen it once before, when I was still a kid.”

Knowing now that what he was looking at wasn’t some insect bursting out of another made it easier for Sasuke to will away the initial disgust. Now, curiosity made him observe the cicada on the ground.

It wiggled and jerked its way out of a browning, flaky mold of some larvae-like creature. It stopped briefly, black beady eyes shining bright as its body stilled completely. Then it moved again, jerked forward with its spindly limbs. The process was long; the insect stopped every now and then to rest. As it did, color began to shine into its new body. 

Sasuke marveled at how alien it seemed; its new form was nothing at all like its old, grub-like self. It had a square face, and a stronger body. Wings, pressed wetly against its body started to dry, and Sasuke caught sight of the mesmerizing pattern stitched onto each translucent wing.

It was as if it had been born anew.

“They stay in the ground for years, as these wormy little things.” Shisui spoke softly and quietly, as if he was divulging extremely sensitive information. “They live by sucking on tree roots and getting nutrients that way. Then, when it comes time, they crawl out and wait until it’s time to crack out of their shells. If they live long enough, they find a mate, lay eggs, and die.”

“How long do they stay underground?” Sasuke asked.

“It depends on the species. Some stay underground for 17 years.”

Sasuke felt his eyes widen. Seventeen years? Underground? Sucking on tree roots as blind children, never knowing anything different until they dig themselves out.

“They don’t last very long, do they?” Itachi asked.

“Nah. A few days, if they’re lucky. Most of them get snatched right up by birds.”

For the first time in his life (lives?), Sasuke thought these maggoty creatures were really worth noticing. To spend years underground in the dark, only to worm your way to the surface on the off chance that you would survive long enough to find a mate to continue the cycle-- How incredible, how astounding, how… How  _ stupid _ .

“What a waste,” Sasuke mumbled, sitting on his knees and giving the insects a narrow-eyed look.

“Is it?” Shisui asked, still staring intently at the wriggling creatures. “We’re no different, Sasuke. There’s no one person who can tell how our lives will turn out. If you think about it, we do the same-- We give our whole lives working towards something we don’t know whether it will ever be accomplished.”

Sasuke nodded quietly. He repeated that ( _ we’re no different _ ), in his head, silently. He thought of Shisui -- the  _ other _ Shisui -- who had ended his life and entrusted everything to his brother. He thought of Itachi, and all that his brother had sacrificed for him. Whatever they’d worked towards, whatever they’d hoped for, they’d had to make sure that every move they made counted.

But neither one predicted what would have come to pass. They were prodigies in the battlefield, but they were still young, still inexperienced. They hadn’t grown enough to understand how trauma could twist the most innocuous of dreams. Vengeance, redemption, atonement... these were not dreams appropriate for a young boy, whose shattered heart and mind could no longer craft the right kind of dreams fit for the role placed upon his shoulders.

But now, Sasuke thought to himself, he knew. He may not have a complete understanding of what it meant, the dreams his clan members sought desperately for (to restore the Uchiha to their former glory or to protect Yondaime’s legacy), but he knew what he has done wrong and what he must change about himself.

So how, he asked himself, can he convey this to his family? How can he, a child with memories of a past self, alleviate the hatred of betrayal burning deep within the Uchiha? There were things he’d noticed from within his clan: things he’d overhead and caught glimpses of, things he’d seen even in the village. He knew there was a fire his clan members kindled in secret-- a fire set at the borders of their village, one that threatened to waste away all who were still buried underground like cicadas, sucking on tree roots; those who have yet to see the sky. 

And if the fire were to fan out…

The village would never forgive them. His family would be branded as criminals, and would never be allowed the status they deserve.

Or  _ believe _ they deserve. It was all subjective; Sasuke knew little, cared even less, about clan politics. To him, it was useless jabber, fueled by storms of hatred and envy spun from a history of lies.

What did his father think of all this? Sasuke wished he knew.

Shisui rose to his feet, the swift movement jarring Sasuke out of his thoughts. “It’s what we do now that matters. Right, Itachi?”

Sasuke watched his brother agree in silence; Itachi mimicked his cousin’s movements, eyes still trained thoughtfully on the cicada as it waited for its shell to harden and its wings to dry.

Carefully, so as not to disturb the insect, Sasuke pulled away the shed skin. He held it in the palm of his hand, watching the breeze shake all that was left of a cicada that lived underground to become a cicada that survived above ground.

As a wind blew it right off his hand and scattered it elsewhere, Sasuke wondered yet again: What did his father think of all this? Did he value the Uchiha name more than he valued the village it grew out of? Or were they the same weights on his father’s shoulders?

“Come, Sasuke,” his brother called. “Let’s go home.”

Sasuke brushed the palms of his hands against his pants, getting up and walking to his brother’s side. He didn’t complain when Shisui flattened the top of his hair, or when Itachi walked a little too fast for his child body to keep up without stumbling here and there.

In a while, they saw the compound from afar-- the heavy stone gateway arching high over the forest the village had dumped them in. There was no other villager around their immediate vicinity, the forest creating a thick perimeter that boxed them in.

It was a deliberate, political move on Konoha’s part. Looking at it this way, Sasuke could understand the bitterness many of the clan members had for Konoha’s leadership. Pushing a founding family to the outskirts of the village, fueled by paranoia and suspicion, would no doubt set the Uchiha on edge.

Sasuke stole a look at his brother’s face. There was a serene expression plastered on him, but Sasuke saw the tired lines around his eyes-- the only visible tell of the burden felt by being pulled by two factions.  _ Did their Father know, _ Sasuke wondered,  _ Did their Father know what it was like to be forced to choose between your family and your village? _

Sifting through odd memories of a life before, Sasuke saw the resigned face of their father kneeling away from his brother.  _ “I’m proud of you,”  _ he’d said. _ “Take care of Sasuke.” _

There were tears shed in that bloodbath. And anguish, loneliness, regret… Unnecessary-- All of it! What a terrible fate, a terrible sacrifice, a terrible choice! The wrong choice. It would not be made again; this, Sasuke swore.

But there was not much time left; he was seven years old, and he would begin preliminary training in a few months’ time. He didn’t have time to burrow around in the dark as if he didn’t know what would unfold-- of what  _ could  _ unfold.

“Niisan.”

His brother turned to him. “Hm?”

“Before, Shisui-niisan said… that we’re no different from cicadas.” Sasuke squeezed his brother’s hand. “I don’t want to be like a cicada.”

There was a brief silence; Sasuke knew his brother and Shisui were looking at one another. Then, a light chuckling sound came from both boys.

“Oh, Sasuke,” Shisui started, ruffling his hair just like his brother would, “Don’t worry-- Little monsters can’t become anything like a cicada.”

Sasuke scowled, wormed away from Shisui’s hand and quickly switched to stand on the other side of his brother. “ _ You’re _ the monster here. Who makes Anbu at 10?”

At that, Shisui only flashed his teeth in a sharp grin. “Makes you think twice before messing with me, huh?”

Sasuke blew a raspberry without hesitation, his sharp mind unable to hold back from such childish behavior.

Itachi chuckled softly, laying a gentle hand on the back of Sasuke’s neck in a friendly, calming gesture. “Don’t mind him, Sasuke. You don’t have to be like a cicada.”

Sasuke let himself glower at Shisui’s grinning face a little longer. “I don’t wanna be like  _ him _ , either.”

Shisui laughed with his head tilting back and eyes screwed shut. “See? This is why you’re a little monster. Nothing’s safe from you, is there?”

Sasuke just rolled his eyes.

“So, little brother,” his brother said instead, “do you have an idea of what you want to be?”

Sasuke blinked, turning to look at his brother, then at Shisui, then back to his brother.

What did he want to be? What did he want to  _ do? _

Would this moment alter the future? Would his words change their lives? The path they would all take? His brother, himself… Naruto, and… Sakura.

What should he say?

Sasuke looked away.

And closed his eyes.

“I think… I want to be Hokage.”


	9. Cerise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“You got something to say to me?!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a two in one special tonight! Courtesy to [Tous les Jours](http://aestover91.tumblr.com/post/146923513090/how-many-idiots-does-it-take-to-put-a-cake-in-a) for fucking up my evening. I needed to get rid of my anger in a productive way, so this was one way I _guess_.

When he saw her, his heart stopped. He couldn’t breathe.

It wasn’t as if he’d forgotten about her; he remembered her (he remembered  _ all _ of them). But seeing her in his dreams was different from seeing her before him.

For one, because her hair was matted and there was blood dripping from her nose.

She’d just punched the lights out of one girl who’d chucked a clump of mud and pebbles at her. The unconscious girl’s friends shrieked and turned tailed, leaving the blue-haired cheeky girl behind.

“You’re damn right you should be running away!” she screamed, hurling the pebbles they’d thrown at her. There were tears streaming down her face, but her eyes belonged to a rageful demon. “Don’t you ever come near me again!”

She stood there screaming and hurling pebbles, sticks, and clumps of grass long after the girls were gone. Curses fell from her mouth like leaves in the fall, colorful and numerous.

Exhaustion got the best of her, and she collapsed on her knees in the mud. Then, she turned her head to the side and looked right at him.

He expected the fresh tears and snot dripping down her face. 

He didn’t expect to be the next target of her anger.

She pinned him with a furious glare. “You got something to say to me?!”

He didn’t say anything. He hadn’t expected that to be her first words for him. 

Instead of replying, he glanced around them and saw the upturned bento a little ways from them; tamago-maki and tiny sausages lying in a bed of muddied rice, a cracked bottle of strawberry milk, and a crinkled wrapper to a small bar of chocolate.

Sasuke turned back to her, lifting his own bento in the air between them. He watched the girl’s face unfold from anger to twist in confusion.

“Do you wanna eat lunch with me?” he asked, minding his tone and keeping it quiet and just a tinge disinterested.

A startled look wiped off all traces of anger and suspicion. Slowly, a smile stretched across her face. “Okay,” she said, eyes watery and glittering as she smiled brightly at him.

He felt his heart soar.


	10. Aurelian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe interacting with them early wasn’t such a great idea after all.

“Sasuke-kun. That’s kid’s been watching us for a while.”

Sakura pointed him out quietly, but not discreetly.

Sasuke looked over his shoulder, not at all surprised to see a scraggly-looking kid with dirty blond hair, large blue eyes, and whiskered cheeks.

He turned away and chewed a mouthful of rice. “It’s just Naruto.”

Sakura wrinkled her nose. “Yeah, but why’s he just watching us?”

“I asked him if he wanted to eat lunch with us.”

Sakura’s eyes nearly fell out. “What?? Why?!”

Sasuke gave her a look. He’d forgotten how different Sakura had been during their childhood. She’d never liked Naruto; saw him as a nuisance and treated him as such in their academy and genin days. He didn’t see much of that now, but it could possibly be because he spoke to her a lot earlier than he was supposed to.

‘Supposed to.’ Were his actions really dictated by fate? Was he rebelling against the natural order of things by changing the course of time? Would there be horrid consequences?

Or was it all just a dream, and was he stark-raving mad?

Sasuke answered himself by drinking some bottled tea.

“He looked interesting.”

Sakura scowled. “If by interesting you mean  _ dirty _ .”

At that, Sasuke narrowed his eyes. “Sakura--”

“He needs a bath,” she said, a determined gleam in her eyes.. “And we’re gonna give him one.”

Sasuke started. “What are you--”

She ignored him and cupped her hands around her mouth “Hey! Hey, you!”

The bushes to the side of the training ground rustled. An unruly head of yellow hair started to sprout through the leaves. Wide, blue eyes peered out. “Who, me?”

“Yeah, you. When’s the last time you took a bath?”

The child’s entire face puckered in offence. “‘S none of your business!”

“Oh, you bet your sweet cheeks it is, if you’re planning to eat lunch with us.” Sakura got up, dusting off her dress. “Sasuke-kun, get up. You’re helping me.”

Sasuke stared at her, mouth still full of food. “...With  _ what?” _

Sakura gave him the same look his mother gave his father when he asked why they couldn’t just leave the dishes until later that day. “Bathing your lunch guest. Now hurry up, I  can’t do this myself. The hose is too heavy.”

“The hose?” echoed one clueless blond boy. “Are we watering something?”

Sakura dropped her scowl and smiled brightly at the blond. “Yep!” she lied straight through her teeth. “Wanna help?”

Sasuke watched the blond idiot jump out of the bushes and --ohh boy, Sakura wasn’t kidding, he  _ did  _ stink-- grab Sakura by the arm and jabber on about how excited he was and how he loved taking care of plants and “I have a plant named Mr. Ukki, I’ll show you some time!”

“Sasuke-kun! Hurry up, already!”

Sasuke sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Maybe interacting with them early wasn’t such a great idea after all.


	11. Entr’acte

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Shisui-san was right. You really are worse than he is.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fugaku is... a lot more understanding and open with his sons in this universe. Because why the fuck not?

One evening, his father joined him while he sat on the docks of the river.

“You’ve been making lots of friends recently.”

“Yes, sir,” said Sasuke, for there was nothing else he could say.

“The Hyuuga heiress,” spoke his father slowly, “how do you find her?”

Sasuke shrugged. “She’s quiet. Not like the other kids, I guess.”

“Is that a good thing? To not be like other kids?”

Sasuke shrugged again. “I guess. What’s the point of being like everyone else? That sounds boring.”

His father chuckled. “Would you like to have tea with her some day? Our clans share blood. It would be nice to reacquaint both families.”

Sasuke turned a narrow-eyed stare at his father. Sasuke was eight, but he was no fool. He knew his father’s intent. He knew where this would go.

“That sounds boring,” he said truthfully, pulling a face.

“You can talk to Hinata. Wouldn’t that be nice?”

“I’d rather talk to myself.”

“Let’s not be rude, Sasuke.”

“Shisui-san said that sometimes, the truth can hurt.”

He heard his father take in a deep breath and sigh. Then, his father stood up.

“It’s almost dinner time. Why don’t we go back home?”

Sasuke shrugged. “Okay.”

As he got up, his father spoke again.

“So… Who’s this Sakura your mother keeps talking about?”

Sasuke clamped his mouth shut.

“Ah,” said his father, as if he’d come to some epiphany. “Shall we invite her family for tea?”

“Shisui-san was right. You really are worse than he is.”

His father threw his head back and laughed.


	12. Golden Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But we didn’t do anything wrong! You’re not being fair!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who have stopped by to spare a kind word or two for this aimless fic. You've kept this project going.

“Oi, Sasuke-- Scoot over, Akamaru needs to fit too, ya bastard.”

“Sakura, that was my last dumpling!

“I think I deserve it after you gobbled up my cucumber rolls.”

Naruto cackled. “Yeah, you eat more than Kiba’s dog does.”

Grinning, Kiba tags in. “That’s because she’s a fat pig.”

Though the common insult no longer phased the Yamanaka child, she still made a fuss, giving Sakura a sharp elbow to in the ribs and throwing grass in Naruto’s direction. The clamor died quickly when a heavy-set boy to the left of the group stopped chewing on rice balls. “…Fat… pig…?”

The brief silence that followed was not a welcomed one. Sasuke watched Shino pick up his bento and leave the table. Sasuke followed suit, leaving just as mayhem and madness dropped by for lunch.

“I’M NOT FAT! I’M BIG-BONED!”

“I DIDN’T SAY  _ YOU _ WERE FAT!”

“ARF! ARF!”

“Chouji, no!”

“Kiba, call your dog off!”

“I will when this fatso lets me go!”

“RRRAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!”

The ruckus summoned Iruka-sensei outside, who halted everyone in their tracks with a single threat of suspension. The only one shouting after that was Naruto, who for some reason took the warning as a personal challenge.

“But we didn’t do anything wrong! You’re not being fair!”

Sasuke let Shino have some of his tomato rice in exchange for a taste of roasted anchovies in chili garlic oil. They watched Iruka condemn their group of friends to one afternoon of floor-scrubbing and board-washing when Naruto can’t figure out how to keep his mouth shut.

Behind them, someone let out a harsh sigh and sucked their teeth. “If they’re stuck with cleaning duty, that means I gotta train by myself with my old man. Che’. How troublesome.”

“Naruto needs to be more tactful,” Shino remarked. “Why? Because he will lose friendships if he continues to speak without restraint.”

This made Sasuke laugh, because nothing could be further from the truth.


	13. Simmer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Which path was his? Which one would save his family?

“He has an excellent record. He should take the promotional exams this year.”

Iruka-sensei, apparently, was the first to deliver the news. He hadn’t know his progress had been carefully monitored to this extent. How much had they studied him? Did they study only what he did in the Academy? Or did they keep an eye on the way he practiced alone, too?

“Thank you for the recommendation, Hokage-sama. But Sasuke still has much to learn.” 

His brother’s polite decline was only noted. The decision, of course, was left to him.

“I don’t know,” was his reply when Naruto asked him for the fourth time that week. “Maybe,” was his honest answer to Sakura, who’d remained unusually quiet that week. “Yes,” was the response to his father, who’d asked him with eyes full of pride, “but I want to think about it more.”

“No,” was his answer to his mother, whose soft smile and soothing voice only served to remind him of how perilous a position he was in. Should he graduate early, leaving Team 7 behind in the past and forge new bonds -- bonds that would break under the unyielding presence of his clan, wary of his dedication to the village yet seeking always to drown him in their creed -- or should he stay and wait for Team 7 to be born again?

Which path was his? Which one would save his family? 

He sought his answer in the forests behind his home, burning trees to the ground and laying waste to the very things that kept the cicadas alive.

That summer, there were twice as many cicadas crying long into the month. It was as if the destruction he’d brought upon the forest didn’t matter to them; they’d simply packed up and relocated deep into the forest, where they could congregate in safety, multiplying in silence until the forest grew back.

And then -- only then -- would they dare to reclaim what had once been rightfully theirs.


	14. Parboil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Each generation carries its own legacy.”_

“Shinobi exams are coming up soon,” said his mother one day at dinner. “Will you be taking them, Sasuke?”

Over the years, eating together had become a rarity. His studies at the academy pulled him away from the table, just as the village pulled his brother away while the family tugged at the presence of his father. Often, only his mother was at home, cleaning and sewing and cooking and taking care of concerns his Father otherwise would have done had he had the time to stay. 

Something was brewing--  _ has _ been brewing, for generations long passed; and now, something, somewhere, was going to boil over to quench the burning fire.

He hoped to be able to save what he can, with whatever he has. So for that reason, he stayed away from the table; he stayed away and trained, sometimes with his brother or with Shisui, when they could, sometimes even with Naruto--though, training with the Naruto of now was more like throwing rocks in the river to catch fish: useless, stupid, and a waste of time. Sakura made for a much better partner if they were to focus on taijutsu alone, but she made herself scarce for reasons he couldn’t figure out.

He wondered if she knew what he knew, if she’d seen what he’d seen. He wondered, and when he saw her smiling face every morning, bright and hopeful, it made him sick.

“Of course he’ll take them.” His father answered for him, matter-of-factly. “He hasn’t been training all this time to not take them. Itachi graduated at 7 and made chuunin at 10. Our clan takes great pride in that, and Sasuke will bring home the same pride, if not more.”

There was a distinct frown marring his brother’s face. It disappeared behind a glass of water. His mother’s gaze traveled from her husband to her eldest son in quick flashes before she settled for a quiet, pensive stare at her food. “Each generation carries its own legacy.” She poured some tea for herself, even if her food had barely been touched.

His father lowered the paper to stare at his mother. But his mother said nothing more, and drank her tea in silence.

Beside him, Sasuke felt his brother pushing away from the table. Both his father and mother look up; his father, in particular, stared quite intently at his brother’s sudden departure. “I have a meeting to attend,” were Itachi’s only words of parting.

Sasuke watched his brother bring his dishes to the sink as his mother sipped her tea and his father sat and stared resolutely at the paper.

Something was brewing, and it would soon boil over if nothing was done. 

So, he made a decision.

 

* * *

 

“Iruka-sensei?”

“Hm? Oh, Sasuke-kun. Yes, you asked to speak with me after class today. Is everything alright?”

“I wanted to talk to you about the exams.”

“Ah, I see. I take it you’ve made your decision, then?”

“Yes, sir. I’ve decided I’m not ready for the exams after all.”

**Author's Note:**

> "aestover91" on Tumblr. Stop by to say hello!


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